On Collecting Hobbies and the Profession of Loafing

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately. You know, laying on my couch, listening to David Bowie and trying to evade reality. I haven’t actually written anything in a long time, since I’ve been so busy with all that soul searching. Let me just get to the point.


I can’t make up my mind about anything. For the first time in my life, I have seen my own potential and been given opportunities that could make my life better. I respond to this by hiding away in my apartment and eating cookies. Why is life so hard? I think it’s the commitment that’s so frightening. The commitment to being competent, timely, studious, consistent. You (dear readers) have seen this erratic behavior on my blog; that’s me. I am only consistent at being inconsistent.

 It comes down to this: I am a professional loafer. And I’m damn good at it. I have plenty of hobbies, I’m never in bed before 3:00 AM, and I am almost completely unmotivated by money. I don’t enjoy being poor, but the prospect of agreeing to do a job for pay is terrifying. Is this nuts? I mean, have I completely lost it? I always knew this day would come, but I just didn’t think it would be so soon. *Shakes head in shame and sadness.*

I’ve come to realize this: am the real life Penelope Stamp (See The Brothers Bloom), except poor. In the movie, Penelope Stamp is an isolated woman that collects hobbies. Doesn’t that sound like fun? 

On a side note,


Who needs a plate when you have a pan? This is tuna helper, peas added for flavor. Basically a cry for help.